


When you Look

by quietlyPained



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Depression/Suicide Mention, Post-Sburb, Sadstuck, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 19:18:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1790275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietlyPained/pseuds/quietlyPained
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John looks outside his window and realises a few things.</p><p> </p><p>I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. I SOLELY OWN THE STORY.<br/>HOMESTUCK BELONGS TO ANDREW HUSSIE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When you Look

It's when you look outside at your utterly average neighborhood, at the homes and families people have made, that you realise no one really cares. No one cares that you're depressed, that you'd even go so far as to say you're suicidal. No one is close to you, so no one notices the deadness of your eyes or the careful blankness of your face. 

 

It's when you look outside that you realise all color has leached from your world. No, you still see colors, but they're not like they should be. What used to be vibrant - the green of the grass and leaves, the hues of the flowers - is all dull.

 

It's when you look outside that you break down and sob, gasping out that you still love them and always have, that you still miss them because you're distancing yourself so you can't get hurt and they won't get close again. It's saving a lot of pain on all sides, you tell yourself.

 

You tell yourself things are going to be okay as long as you don't pick up the phone or answer any of their texts or log on to PesterChum.

 

Your name is John Egbert, and you tell yourself through all of your tears that distance is the solution to all of your pain and their pain too, but you miss your friends after that horrid game ended, after you all returned to some semblance of normalcy. But you can't let them get close again. It would just hurt too much.

 

It's when you look that you see that the game is still pulling you apart and hurting you, that you see that you were damaged before and the game just made you notice.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when I was feeling down, so I hope it's okay.
> 
> Just a little angsty John getting sad about his friends after the game.


End file.
